As Michael Cohen arrived to give his testimony before the House, Democrats all over the nation said a prayer to no one in particular that the completely unreliable testimony of a sleazeball lawyer would singlehandedly bring down the Trump presidency, causing the nation to instantly transform into a progressive utopia with free healthcare, college, and cell phones for all.
“I just really need this,” said one woman in Portland, Oregon. “It’s been a really tough couple years for me under the Trump Reich. I mean, I am making more money than I was before, and I have more full-time employment opportunities, but that’s literally oppression because Trump.”
Various Twitter accounts with blue checkmarks excitedly tweeted that the suspect testimony of a lone lawyer who until recently associated with the “orange man” they hate so much would bring his whole presidency crashing to the ground.
At publishing time, the nation’s conservatives had announced they would be pinning all their hopes and dreams on the moral character of their president, who until recently associated with the sleazy lawyer.
By Justin Caruso
During the hearing, Michael Cohen produced copies of checks from the president to him, purported to be reimbursement for hush money payment to Stormy Daniels.
Cohen also admitted that he has no actual evidence of the 2016 campaign colluding with Russia, but that he has “suspicions” about it.
Nonetheless, Hollywood treated Cohen’s hearing like a blockbuster event.
“It’s good for America to see how gop is complete deathkkkult” actor John Cusack exclaimed.
“THE RIGHTWINGERS ON THE COMMITTEE SEEM DETERMINED TO DISCREDIT MICHAEL COHEN; THAT’S ALL THEY HAVE,” Bette Midler roared.
“THEY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE TRUTH…CIRCLING THE WAGONS, AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY WANT TO THROW THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE UNDER THE BUS AGAIN.”
“oh the gop is pissed and we haven’t even started… this is gonna be good – trump is going down – OH HAPPY DAY !!! #CohenGonnaTestify” Rosie O’Donnell celebrated.
Debra Messing focused on Cohen’s claim that Trump knew about Wikileaks dumping stolen emails before they were released.
Celebrity activist Alyssa Milano decided to focus on Cohen’s claim that Trump was a “racist” and “conman.”
Westworld actor Jeffrey Wright chimed in, “Mark Meadows really rolled out a black woman…like a prop…to bolster his racism angle. Ok, Tex.”
Chelsea Handler, meanwhile, used to event to poke fun at “rich white men.”
“This Cohen testimony has shown me a lot of things, but mostly that these rich white men could benefit from a nightly moisturizing routin,” the Netflix host said.
TBS host Samantha Bee hoped for Michael Cohen to cry during the hearing:
Check out all the Hollywood reactions and watch the Cohen testimony here.
February 27, 2019
Cohen told the House committee that Trump had advance knowledge of plans to release Democratic emails during the 2016 campaign.
Rep. Jim Jordan: “You know who had this material before all the members of the committee? CNN had it before it we did. CNN had the evidence before we did. I want to be recognized.”
Wow!
“You know who had this material before all the members of the committee? CNN had it before it we did. CNN had the evidence before we did. I want to be recognized.”
JANUARY 19, 2019
“Can they get something wrong? Sure, of course, anybody can get something wrong — but this is a huge, huge deal and am I vouching for Buzzfeed,” Uygur said.
“They’re not going to make up that they have federal government sources if they don’t,” Uygur said. “And why would those government sources put this out there if it isn’t true?”
He went on to say Trump’s going to “resign” because the government will threaten to put all his kids in prison.
“Ladies and gentlemen we’re really, really close. We almost got them.”
The Special Council’s office debunked the story hours later.
By Joshua Caplan
The Thursday report claims that the president “supported a plan” arranged by Cohen to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin during the 2016 election to “jump-start” negotiations on the real estate deal, telling his longtime attorney, “make it happen,” according to two federal law enforcement officials. Further, BuzzFeed’s report alleges that President Trump received 10 “personal updates” regarding the proposed project from Cohen, who according to the unnamed sources, requested that his lawyer tell lawmakers that his involvement in the project concluded earlier than it actually did. The sources also claim the president’s children, Donald Jr. and Ivanka Trump, received updates on the proposed tower.
Rudy Giuliani, President Trump’s personal lawyer, dismissed the report, telling The Washington Post’s Philip Rucker: “If you believe Cohen I can get you a great deal on the Brooklyn Bridge.”
Several Democrats, including House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA), have said they will take action against the president, pending the claims made in BuzzFeed’s report are factual.
Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-TX) called for the president to resign or face impeachment — again — contingent upon the report being true.
In an appearance on CNN’s New Day Friday morning, Anthony Cormier, who co-authored BuzzFeed’s report, stood by his story, even though he had “not personally” seen the evidence. Host Alisyn Camerota also pressed Cormier on the “dubious past” of the report’s other author Jason Leopold, who had a story retracted by Salon in 2002 for erroneous reporting. Leopold also wrongly reported in 2006 that Karl Rove, President George W. Bush’s chief political strategist, had been indicted.
In November, Cohen stated in a guilty plea that he lied to Congress about a Moscow real estate deal he pursued on President Trump’s behalf during the heat of the 2016 Republican campaign. He claimed he lied to be consistent with President Trump’s “political messaging.”
Cohen was sentenced December 12 to three years in federal prison after pleading guilty to several charges, including campaign finance violations and making false statements to Congress. Prior to his sentencing, Federal prosecutors in Manhattan asked a judge to sentence Cohen to a “substantial term of imprisonment,” arguing that he had been motivated by “personal greed.”
The plea agreement made clear that prosecutors believe that while President Trump insisted repeatedly throughout the campaign that he had no business dealings in Russia, his lawyer was continuing to pursue the Trump Tower Moscow project weeks after his boss had clinched the Republican nomination for president and well beyond the point that had been previously acknowledged.
Cohen said he discussed the proposal with President Trump on multiple occasions and with members of the president’s family, according to documents filed by special counsel Robert Mueller, who is investigating Russian interference in the presidential election and possible coordination with the Trump campaign. Cohen acknowledged considering traveling to Moscow to discuss the project.
However, there is no clear link in the court filings between Cohen’s lies and Mueller’s central question of whether the Trump campaign colluded with Russia. And nothing said in court, or in associated court filings, addressed whether Trump or his aides had directed Cohen to mislead Congress.
Reacting to Cohen’s plea, President Trump called Cohen a “weak person” who was lying to get a lighter sentence and stressed that the real estate deal at issue was never a secret and never executed. Giuliani said that Cohen was a “proven liar” and that Trump’s business organization had voluntarily given Mueller the documents cited in the guilty plea “because there was nothing to hide.”
“There would be nothing wrong if I did do it,” the president said of pursuing the project. “I was running my business while I was campaigning. There was a good chance that I wouldn’t have won, in which case I would have gone back into the business, and why should I lose lots of opportunities?”
Cohen is slated to testify before the House Oversight Committee on February 7 on his work for President Trump.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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