Sports – NBA Now Requiring All Players To Stand For Chinese National Anthem

By Babylon Bee

NEW YORK, NY—In an effort to salvage its relationship with China, the NBA is now requiring all players to stand for the Chinese national anthem at the beginning of every game.

The official song of the People’s Republic of China, “March of the Volunteers,” will be played at the start of all professional basketball games, whether at home or abroad. All players, fans, coaches, and employees will be required to stand and solemnly sing lyrics including the following:

Millions of but one heart we run towards the Communist tomorrow!
Build our homeland, guard our homeland, and fight gallantly.
March on! March on! March on!
We, for tens of thousands of generations to come,
Hold high the Flag of Mao Zedong, march on!

“We hope this gesture of goodwill will show China that we love them and there is no need for our multi-billion-dollar deal to fall through,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. “March on, Mao!” Silver then performed a soft jazz rendition of the tune and bowed low to the ground to show President Xi Jinping that he is very sorry.

Anyone who doesn’t comply will be shot, a beloved Chinese custom that should further smooth things over with the authoritarian regime.

 

Some airplanes did something?! New York Times article ‘de-terrorizes’ 9/11 attacks

CAP

On the anniversary of the most devastating terrorist attack on US soil, a story by the New York Times suggested that “airplanes” brought down the twin towers. The seeming shift of responsibility did not sit well with readers.

“18 years have passed since airplanes took aim and brought down the World Trade Center,” read a tweet from the New York Times on Wednesday. “Today families will once again gather and grieve at the site where more than 2000 people died.” Inside an accompanying article, the same bizarre sentence was repeated.

Though technological dystopia was all the rage in 2001, what with the success of ‘The Matrix’ two years earlier and the passing of Y2K after that, the 9/11 attacks were not carried out by sentient airplanes, but by terrorist hijackers. Enraged readers made sure the NYT knew that, slating the newspaper for omitting the terms ‘Islamic terrorists’ or even the less-loaded ‘Al Qaeda’ from its story.

CAP

CAP

The Times later deleted the tweet and amended its story, which, this time around, read: “Eighteen years have passed since terrorists commandeered airplanes to take aim at the World Trade Center and bring them down.” Responsibility was placed squarely with Al Qaeda in the updated article.

But why the strange phrasing in the first place? The Times did not report the recent mass shootings in Texas as the work of a disembodied AR-15. Nor does the paper attribute President Donald Trump’s executive orders to levitating pens, or climate change to fossil fuels deciding to burn themselves.

CAP

To some observers, the watered-down description of the attacks was an effort to… not offend anybody, including ordinary Muslims who risk guilt-by-association for sharing their religious beliefs with the perpetrators. “Some airplanes did something,” jibed one commenter, comparing the Times’ coverage to a much-maligned soundbite from Democratic Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar earlier this year, in which Omar summarized the attacks as “some people did something.”

CAP

CAP

To be fair, radical Islamic terrorists aren’t alone in having their deeds sanitized by the New York Times in recent days. The paper marked the 43rd anniversary of Chinese Communist leader Mao Zedong’s passing on Monday with a tweet describing how Chairman Mao “began as an obscure peasant” and “died one of history’s great revolutionary figures.”

After a similar backlash, the tweet was deleted, with the paper apologizing for not providing “critical historical context;” namely the famines that occurred on Mao’s watch and his role in the 1966-1976 ‘Cultural Revolution,’ events that left tens of millions of Chinese citizens dead.

 

NEW YORK TIMES BLAMES “AIRPLANES” FOR 9/11 ATTACK

New York Times Blames "Airplanes" For 9/11 Attack

Quickly deletes tweet after furious backlash.

 – SEPTEMBER 11, 2019

The New York Times chose to honor the 18th anniversary of the September 11 atrocity by blaming “airplanes” for carrying out the attack.

Yes, really.

“18 years have passed since airplanes took aim and brought down the World Trade Center,” the Times tweeted from its official account.

null

The tweet prompted an immediate backlash, with respondents furious the Times appeared to be absolving the terrorists of blame and pinning the responsibility on inanimate objects instead.

The newspaper later deleted the tweet and half way apologized, tweeting, “We’ve deleted an earlier tweet to this story and have edited for clarity. The story has also been updated.”

CAP

“Imagine what it takes, as a newsroom with a huge editorial process, to get 9/11 so offensively incorrect. Scumbags,” tweeted Raheem Kassam.

CAP

The Times found itself in hot water only a few days ago for praising Mao Zedong, the Communist dictator who starved 45 million of his own people to death, as a “great revolutionary leader.”

They later had to delete and clarify that tweet. This one, appearing as it does on the anniversary of 9/11, is if anything worse.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑